The One or not the one - do I need anyone at all?
This is the original articel I found. It says you have to meet 4 men, before you will find THE ONE. This made me think about the men I've met in life so far.
1. Die erste große Liebe.
Diese hat es bei mir nicht gegeben, sie wurde mir vorenthalten. Ich war verliebt, mittlerweile bin ich mir sicher, das dies auch nicht einseitig war, aber ich durfte nicht, ich traute mich nicht. Wenn ich diese zwei großen Jugendschwärmereien heute treffen würde, würde ich wohl nicht nein sagen, um es wenigstens einmal probiert zu haben, das schulde ich meinem 16 jährigen ich. Auch wenn ich mir sicher wäre, dass es nichts ernstes werden könnte. All die tränen, sollen nicht vergebens sein. Ich frage mich, was passiert wäre, hätte ich auf sie gewartet, bis ich hätte gedurft, aber ich wollte nicht warten, ich wollte das erleben, was alle schon längst erlebt hatten. Darum war die erste Liebe nie existent.
2. Der, der nicht sein sollte.
Oh ja, den gibt es. Über Jahre hinweg, immer wieder küssten wir uns. Vielleicht war ich in einer Beziehung, vielleicht hatte ich gerade eine Beziehung beendet, vielleicht war er grade in einer Beziehung. So richtig weiß man nicht, woran es am ende scheiterte. Der Mann von dem ich sagen kann, dass er mich am meisten zum Lachen brachte. Aber ich bin da kein Einzelfall. Er bringt alle Frauen zum lachen. Dem entsprechend gibt es viele Frauen in meinem Umfeld, die im Laufe der Zeit mal in ihn verliebt waren. Ändert dies etwas für mich persönlich? - Nein, denn wenn ich mit ihm zusammen war, hatte ich immer das Gefühl, dass uns etwas verband. Ich habe vor ihn auf das vergangene anzusprechen, um endgültig dieses Kapitel zu Ende schreiben zu können. Denn es steht immer noch ein Fragezeichen dort.Letztes Jahr, meine Beziehung ging zu Ende, kurz davor, wurde unser Kontakt wieder häufiger, und an meinem Geburtstag, wollte ich lieber bei ihm sein, als bei meinem damaligen Freund. Ein sehr starker Hinweis, darauf, dass in meiner damaligen Beziehung nicht mehr alles rund lief. Ich trennte mich keine 4 Wochen später von Yellow. An meinem Geburtstag saßen Purple und ich so nah beieinander, kurz davor uns zu küssen. Es zu tun, wäre eine Dummheit. Ich war noch in einer Beziehung. Der Kontakt brach nicht ab. Wir telefonierten, wir sahen uns gefühlt fast täglich an der Uni, um uns auf eine heiße Schokolade zu treffen. Dann auf einem Konzert, wir feierten, jeder irgendwo auch für sich. Ich war außer mir. Rückblickend; ich war verliebt, so sehr, dass ich gehemmt war, locker zu sein, verrückt zu sein. Dinge zu tun, die mir sonst leicht fallen, wenn es um nichts geht. Wenn man nichts zu verlieren hat.
Es fällt mir leicht, Fremde anzusprechen, ich kann sofort über alles mit ihnen reden, aber wenn ich verliebt bin, klebe ich am Boden fest, kann mich nicht bewegen, kann nicht sprechen, bekomme panik. Wir feierten separat weiter. Dann irgendwann Nachts, stand er vor meiner Tür, alles war gut, wir redeten, hörten Musik, dann der Kuss. Eine Dummheit? Natürlich, ich hatte keine Kontrolle, wir taten es trotzdem. Sex-Nein, wir kuschelten, schliefen zusammen ein. Ich finde das bis heute sehr irritierend. Dann irgendwann, wir wollten uns seit Jahren mal abends auf einen Wein treffen. Am Osterfeuer bei gemeinsamen Freunden trafen wir zusammen, und verabredeten uns spontan für einen der Feiertage. Es sollte auch noch eine Geschenke Übergabe stattfinden. Zu meinem Geburtstag, hatte er mein Geschenk nicht mitgebracht, was auch besser war. Er und Yellow haben mir quasi das selbe Geschenk gemacht. Drama.
Wir trafen uns also, an den Osterfeiertagen, um 11 Uhr abends. An den Feiertagen fahren die Bahnen nicht die Nacht durch, es war also eigentlich klar, dass ich die Nacht dort verbringen werde. Es gab keinen Wein, sondern Rum, und Kuchen den ich mitgebracht hatte. Natürlich hatte ich mich schön hergerichtet. Nicht dass ich es sonst nicht tun würde. Ich glaube mich erinnern zu können, dass ich mit einem Kuss begrüßt wurde. Es ist klar, auf was es hinauslaufen soll. Tja, wer schon keinen Wein rechtzeitig besorgen kann, denkt auch an andere Dinge nicht. Wir taten alles, fast. Diese Single Zeit, ging unter meinen Freunden als die 3 Monate in die Geschichte ein, in denen ich versuchte Sex zu haben, aber keinen bekam.
Wie es weiterging, es gab noch eine Postkarte aus dem Urlaub, es bisschen Kontakt, und dann verlief es sich. War zu erwarten oder?
Ähnlich war es die Jahre zuvor auch, bei vielen Gelegenheiten küssten wir uns, kuschelten, und nix. nicht dass ich mich beschweren möchte.
3. Der bad boy.
Da bin ich mir nicht sicher, ob er es wirklich bist, denn das wäre Yellow.4. The one that got away.
Ich glaube, da gibt es zwei, Green und meine aktuelle Beziehung....5. Und zuletzt soll es THE ONE geben.
Aber ich glaube ich bin noch weit davon entfernt, ihn zu finden, und wenn ich ihn schon gefunden habe, ist für mich die Zeit noch nicht Reif, ich bin noch nicht dort, wo ich hin möchte, aber ich weiß noch nicht wo ich hin möchte.Top Ten Rules for Being Human
Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it's yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what's inside.Rule Two -You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons are specific to you, and learning them 'is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life'.Rule Three -There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it's inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you'd want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgment - of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it's also 'the act of erasing an emotional debt'. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour - especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that 'mistakes' are simply lessons we must learn.Rule Four -The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen.Rule Five -Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the 'rhythm of life', don't struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.Rule Six -"There" is no better than "here". The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what's good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.Rule Seven -Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.Rule Eight -What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.Rule Nine -Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.Rule Ten -You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.
- Cherie Carter-Scott(author, life coach, and motivational speaker) - See more at: http://love-whisperer.blogspot.de/p/life-quotes.html#sthash.2Y2NbQ0T.dpufTop Ten Rules for Being Human
Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it's yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what's inside.Rule Two -You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons are specific to you, and learning them 'is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life'.Rule Three -There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it's inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you'd want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgment - of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it's also 'the act of erasing an emotional debt'. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour - especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that 'mistakes' are simply lessons we must learn.Rule Four -The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen.Rule Five -Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the 'rhythm of life', don't struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.Rule Six -"There" is no better than "here". The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what's good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.Rule Seven -Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.Rule Eight -What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.Rule Nine -Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.Rule Ten -You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.
- Cherie Carter-Scott(author, life coach, and motivational speaker) - See more at: http://love-whisperer.blogspot.de/p/life-quotes.html#sthash.2Y2NbQ0T.dpuf